what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
vagina is talking i cant
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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