He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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