my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
