the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm bleeding and have questions
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