I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
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yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
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As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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