I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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