I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
