Don't you send me to vm
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
