You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.