and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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