I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
i now understand why vodka
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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