he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
