We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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