Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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