You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
