Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
25 People Confess The Sex Acts They Were Super Ashamed Of
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
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If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship