so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
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i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
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Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.