the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
