guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
