Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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