Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
