i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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