I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize