How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
