Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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