; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
