Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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