You smell like a Billy Joel song
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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