ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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