just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
