it's like iHOP with fire
splinters make it hard to masturbate
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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