I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
