I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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