jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
