she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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