i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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