I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
