my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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