So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
