Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
