it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
