she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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