Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
