I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
