the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
