Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
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He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
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Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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