So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
wow bdsm is so cute
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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