My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
