Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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