I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
