I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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