Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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