Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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