he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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