I wish i was in the wii world.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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