i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
