so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I've blown a few things in my day
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
