at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she was so not down for the gang bang
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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